


Blood Gets Thin

by demonjeans



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: M/M, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:59:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7797412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonjeans/pseuds/demonjeans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You know what happens when you lie.”</p><p>It’s an unfair tactic. They’re far away from the institute. Far away from the blindingly white walls and cold cement floors. He watches Seth tense up and should but doesn’t feel any sense of satisfaction.</p><p>“If they find us…”</p><p>“They’ll be slow with me.” Dean answers. “You, you’ll get a nice bullet to the skull.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“This’ll work.” Dean eyes the double wide trailer in front of them.

It’s in shambles. The yard and trees around it overgrown, ivy covering most of one side of the trailer. If the surrounding pines aren’t enough of a cover the sad state of this place surely would be.

“The last place looked nicer.” Seth says, arms crossed.

“You want a cushy room go back to mommy and daddy.”

Seth glares at him and marches ahead towards the trailer. “You’re an idiot, Ambrose.”

Neither can really sleep that night, the trailer stinks of stale air and every little noise sets them both off. Dean manages to calm himself after a few hours but even in the dim moonlight he can see the panic in Seth’s eyes.

“Scared?” He asks.

“No.” Seth quickly responds.

“You know what happens when you lie.”

It’s an unfair tactic. They’re far away from the institute. Far away from the blindingly white walls and cold cement floors. He watches Seth tense up and should but doesn’t feel any sense of satisfaction.

“If they find us…”

“They’ll be slow with me.” Dean answers. “You, you’ll get a nice bullet to the skull.”

Seth exhales a laugh. “And you think I’m naive. They expect this kind of thing from you.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot you’re too special to do anything wrong.” He sneers.

“Don't push me, Ambrose.”

“You gonna hurt me? Put on that little smile you always do after running a course like you’re waiting for someone to fucking cheer for you?”

It’s dumb to antagonize him. Dean’s seen him snap necks and shoot people point blank without batting an eye. Then Seth would smile up at the camera in the ceiling and outstretch his arms as if to say “Look at me! Pay attention to me!” Like he isn’t their favorite. As if Dean and the other aren’t squished together in their little corral watching him go first and be perfect. Dean hated him.

He probably also loved him.

Seth looks like he’s going to lunge for him and gets ready for it but only receives a sigh. “Fuck you, Dean.”

Which is another kind of attack, really. Besides Seth no one called him Dean, not since he was thirteen sitting in an interrogation room covered in blood. 

“He hurt my mom!” Dean remembers shouting. “So I hurt him back!”

He’ll never know the full specifics of how he ended up being taken to what was called a “special” juvenile facility for troubled boys. Did they find his mother an unfit parent or did she just not want him? It doesn’t really matter in the end.

The first four months at the institute were of solid isolation. He’d be woken up at random hours, a projector that hung above his head just out of reach would whir to life and the speakers in the walls would begin to roar. The movie would tell Dean that he was all alone and therefore nothing but if he wanted it he could be a part of something much greater. If he obeyed and proved himself worthy he could join the ranks of The Authority, a true family where Dean would be important and depended on. The film would tell him how The Authority made the world run smoothly and kept the common citizen safe under everyone’s noses, unsung heroes.

In truth they were science experiments. Scared little boys turned into teenage murder machines.

But at thirteen The Authority seemed like the greatest opportunity of his life. A family. 

Towards the end of Dean’s isolation the door to his cell opens, two people step into the room. He recognizes them immediately from the film and feels a little awestruck. They were the ones who ran The Authority, the movie called them Mother and Father, something he had snorted at at first but after enough time their images were all Dean had. He doesn’t even recall what they talked about, Father looks to be sizing him up the man was built like a tank with a rough voice that made him want to flinch. He remembers Mother’s blue grey eyes, she had been the one asking him questions Dean was desperately hoping he was giving the right answers to.

After his four months he was thrown into the general population facility. There weren’t too many other boys, thirty at most at various ages from kids to older teens. It was a bit overwhelming but Dean did his best to keep a clear head even as the film’s message played over and over in his mind. The idea of a real family seemed amazing, he had to try. So he walked into his issued room with determination and a sense of hope. Met his roommate who introduced himself as Ryder but when Dean gave his full name got an immediate frown in response. 

“No first names. It’s bad luck.”

Dean didn’t really believe in luck but humored the guy nonetheless.

Training was relentless there was no time to for anything else which was exactly what those in charge wanted. It didn’t give him the chance to think when the group went from thirty to twenty Dean just assumed the other ten didn’t make the cut. They weren’t worthy of joining the Authority. Only the best would be chosen and Dean was going to be the best.

Then he met Seth Rollins.

In a year’s time Dean had begun to get noticed, pushed harder but given praise the fourteen year old so desperately craved. When he saw the thirteen year old Dean got paired with for a sparring match he didn’t look like much. At least until Seth kicked him right in the chest knocking all the air from his lungs. It was the first time Dean saw that proud little smile.

It wasn’t a clean fight. They both ended up on their backs, bloody and exhausted which was completely unheard of. Usually at the first sign of bloodshed they would call a winner. Dean cracked Seth in the mouth, a trail of crimson sliding down the side his chin. There was a flash of surprise in the younger boy’s eyes, the pair of them looking over to the fight coordinators waiting for Dean to be announced the winner.

“Continue.”

Dean remembers sitting beside the other teen afterward outside the infirmary. His left eye was beginning to swell shut when the boy laughed.

“You knocked one of my teeth out.” Seth pulled down his lower lip showing a gap in his bottom row.

“Sorry.”

He shook his head. “It was a good fight. Haven’t lost in a long time.”

“They called it a draw.”

“You drew first blood. You won. Last time you will, though.” He said with a cocky grin, missing tooth and all.

“That so?” It’s the first time in awhile that Dean had gotten to speak more freely with someone besides Ryder. He knew to be cautious around everyone, but there was something about Seth that told him the opposite.

“You’re good but sloppy. If you want to be the best you can’t let your guard down.”

“Says the guy who lost a tooth.”

The other teen giggled and suddenly Dean thought of how old they were and what they had just done to each other. A bothersome feeling tugged at the back of his mind but he does his best to push it away. 

“True, but like I said that’s the last time you’re going to beat me.” He looked over Dean, seeming to decide on something. “What’s your name?”

“Ambrose.”

“No.” He pulled an annoyed face. “Your name. I’m Seth, and you are?”

“We’re not supposed to give out first names.” Dean said and Seth rolled his eyes.

“That’s nonsense made up by idiots who don’t think they’re going to make it. You don’t get chosen for The Authority cause you’re lucky. And you don’t look like someone who believes in that, anyway.”

“Yea? What do I look like?”

“Competition.” Seth grinned.

“Rollins!” A medic shouts from down the hall making the teen hop up in attention.

“Dean.” He said, his own name sounding a bit strange on his tongue. “My name’s Dean.”

Seth smiled but it wasn’t like the one he gave during their match, this was friendly, upbeat. “See you around, Dean.”

Back in the trailer the pale blue predawn sky begins to filter through the dusty windows. Seth looks as exhausted as he feels, sitting on the floor with his knees drawn up, occasionally letting his head droop down but never for long. Dean can’t blame him, the adrenaline of their escape still running through his veins. How many were out there looking for them? Did they cover their tracks well enough?

“You should sleep.” Dean says.

“If they come you’ll need me.” Seth argues.

“Cause you’ll be so helpful fighting half awake.” He pats a space beside him. “Come here.”

Seth hesitates for a moment before crawling over and flopping down, resting his head on Dean’s thigh as his eyes slowly fall shut. Dean finds himself smiling and has to stop his hand from stroking the Seth’s hair. Being like this makes Dean think of two years back when he was eighteen and they were still friends. More than friends. 

A few days after their first fight Dean spotted Seth by himself in the mess hall. He was about to head in his direction when Ryder stopped him and pulled them to the opposite side of the room.

“You serious?” Ryder huffed as they walk.

“Wait. I don’t- Seth seems fine.”

“Rollins is not fine.” Ryder said as they took an empty table. “Being around him is a death sentence.”

Dean looked at him with skepticism. “Haven’t even seen him till now.”

“He got pulled just before you got here.”

“Pulled?”

“Special training. His roommate got pulled too. Heard Rollins put a bullet in his head.”

“Bullshit.”

“He’s Mother and Father’s golden boy. Anybody who’s friends with him ends up in a bad way, that’s all I know.”

He had no reason to doubt Ryder but it seemed silly. That and Dean can’t stop thinking about the little smile Seth had given him when the parted ways last time. So he told Ryder not to worry about him and walked over to Seth’s table. The other teen eyed him with a confused look as Dean sat across from him but he played it cool, even if Dean was a bit curious about the roommate thing.

“Don’t you know it’s bad luck getting close to me?” Seth’s eyes went from Ryder who was obviously watching then back to Dean.

But he just smiled. “Good thing I don’t believe in that shit.”

What feels like a mere blink of an eye is actually hours later. The sun now shining and Dean waking up alone with Seth nowhere in sight. Panic hits, Dean trips over his own feet trying to stand up. He sees the back door left wide open and creeps forward, angry at himself that they had yet to find any real weapons. Dean takes a calming breath as he reaches the threshold, he needs to be ready for anything and if he has to kick, punch, or bite their way to freedom he’ll do it.

Dean’s not at all prepared for what he sees, however. Seth sitting in the overgrown grass looking at a patch of dandelions with intent focus. An old question pops into Dean’s mind as he walks through the yard and takes a spot next to him.

“Do you remember anything like this?” Dean asks.

“No.” Seth responds softly with a hint of sadness that makes Dean involuntarily clench his jaw.

“Do you remember when they brought you in?”

Seth sighs and looks up at him. “You think this is going to bring up some forgotten memory? It’s not. I’m exactly what everyone thinks I am.”

“You’re not.” Dean says more firmly than he expects.

“...That mean you forgive me?”

Dean doesn’t answer and Seth returns his attention back to the bright yellow weeds. It isn’t fair but they both know that.

“I missed you.” Dean says plucking at random blades of grass.

“Good.” And he expects that cocky smile he’s gotten so used to but it isn’t there, it’s soft and hopeful. It hurts. “I missed you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went on vacation, wasn't supposed to write, ended up having this idea burrow its way into my head and wrote a bunch. So I'll be working my way through that (along with working on the things I'm supposed to write haha) Hope this is interesting!


	2. Chapter 2

Seth would like nothing more than to sit out in the grass all day. Dean’s close enough that he could almost conceivably lean against him. Not that he’s going to. Things are improving but it’s going to take time which he’d like to think they have plenty of but Seth knows better. Mother and Father were after them, mentally cringes at the parental titles that now leave a bitter taste in his mouth.

“We need supplies.” Dean says placing a blade of grass on Seth’s knee.

He frowns and flicks it away. “Where?”

“Break into one of those houses we passed on the way.”

“They’ll notice. We don’t want any attention on ourselves.”

“We’ll just take what’s necessary. What we need and what civilians think are valuable are different things. Wouldn’t it be nice to wear something that isn’t grey?”

Seth looks at their uniforms, the same grey pants and shirt that he feels like he’s been wearing his entire life. And that’s a whole other subject he’s not a fan of.

He plucks a dandelion and hands it to Dean. “It’s overwhelming. All this. The trees. The sun… Was it like this when you were little?”

Dean shakes his head. “I lived in the city, mostly buildings. Parks were nice but nothing like this. This is amazing.”

Seth leans back on his hands. “I remember you talking about laying in the grass and how it was the best feeling in the world. I wanted to understand so badly and knew I couldn’t.”

Dean moves in close enough that Seth can feel the warmth of his breath against his ear. “So how's it feel?”

It takes all of his willpower not to shove Dean to the ground and kiss him like he used to. He’d probably tell Seth his technique is still off.

So he smiles and takes a deep easy breath. “You were right.”

It’s not hard to find a house with no one around, the town they had passed through seemed rather desolate houses scattered every few miles once they had reached the outskirts. Inside they go room to room, Seth trailing close behind Dean and feeling frustrated with himself because of it. It shouldn’t matter that everything is new to him there’s no reason for him to be so timid. Dean hadn’t been part of the outside world since he was thirteen, how much did he really remember? 

They manage to scrounge up some of the necessary supplies needed but there’s a depressing lack of available weapons. Kitchen knives are better than nothing but Seth might as well just use his bare hands. In the bedroom he stands around awkwardly while Dean goes through the closet once again an antsy feeling going through him. It wasn't like this when they were out in the field why was he feeling so unsure of himself now? 

"Pick for me." Seth says turning away.

Dean takes hold of his wrist. "We should stick together." 

It's not a tight grip just enough to get his attention. 

He gently pulls away. "I'll be down the hall."

The next room is like the last with nothing of substantial use for them. It is incredibly tempting to crawl into the soft looking bed considering last night’s bed consisted of a grimey uncomfortable floor. It's the next room that throws Seth through a loop, however. It takes him awhile to decipher the objects, brightly colored, some hard plastic and some plush. He accidentally kicks one of them watching it come to life with lights and sounds. Then Seth understands, remembers. Children's toys similar to what the younger boys got to play with as rewards. 

How could he forget something like that?

"Wow." Dean says from behind, startling him.

"I remembered something." He mumbles but quickly shakes away Dean's look of surprise. "No, not like that. I didn't understand these were toys. I didn't know and then I remembered."

Dean's face changes to one of sympathy and Seth wants to punch him.

"That's something. Maybe-"

"Stop. I knew what toys were from the institute, not before."

Dean sighs at him. "Why are you so afraid?"

"I'm not." He glares and marches out of the room. "And we're not talking about this."

Seth's first memory is of him being ten, waking up with a terrible headache and bandages wrapped around both arms. He think he might've been heading for the gun range beforehand, it's a vague feeling but it seems right. That's how everything was for a while, a hazy understanding of what things were and who he was. Seth Rollins, the youngest and most talented Authority hopeful at the institute, no one came anywhere close in comparison and he wasn’t shy to say it. Which apparently doesn’t get a person a lot of friends Seth learns sitting by himself in the mess hall. It’s a strange feeling staring around the room confused only to remember no one really liked him.

It didn’t matter, Seth would tell himself, he was the best and they were just jealous.

He’d try his hardest to ignore the rumors about him, about his past. One story was how he was Mother and Father’s son and that’s why he’s always the clear favorite, not skill just blood. The other was that Seth had been a normal kid but was given enough shock treatments and drugs until his brain was completely malleable. Seth loathed both of these stories and couldn’t stand the looks he’d get depending on what version a person believed. They all had the same goal of joining The Authority, none of their pasts should matter.

Then Dean came along and changed everything.

Dean didn’t look at him with disdain or pity, which was incredibly refreshing especially after being pulled for the second time. The first time he was pulled lasted only three months but it was enough to make everyone’s feeling for him even more rocky. Now with one year of nearly nonstop training, body and mind pushed to the limit then over, he felt impenetrable. And then Dean drew first blood shocking Seth to his core. He knew Mother and Father were watching and was certain they of their disappointment. Seth licked his lips tasting the blood on his tongue and felt a rush of excitement run through him.

That’s what Dean did to him. Always. 

Suddenly he and Dean were together any time they weren’t training and even then the pair would find their way side by side. They worked well together, anyone could see that and it almost seemed encouraged by instructors. Their peers didn’t look as pleased about it however, and while Dean never said anything it bothered Seth. He had years of experience with that nonsense and was used to it, Dean didn’t need it by association.

“Why do you hang out with me?” Seth asked during lunch one afternoon.

Dean’s eyes narrow in a sort of perplexed look. “Because you’re my friend.”

And that comes as a surprise, Seth had thrown the word around in his mind but never thought of saying it out loud.

“You don’t think that?” Dean questions, reading his face.

“I don’t have friends.”

“Just competition?”

“Yes. No. Not you, you’re different. I like being around you and when we compete I don’t get upset when you win.”

“You get a little pouty.” Dean grins and Seth rolls his eyes because Dean always knew how to spin something serious into a joke. 

“I do not.”

“You absolutely do.”

“...Maybe a little.” He mumbles. 

Dean leans forward, elbows on the table. “Being around you feels like what was promised. Family’s not the right word. It’s feeling like belonging, fitting in just right or something. Don’t even know why cause you’re kind of a brat.”

“Well you’re kind of a jerk.” Seth counters and a moment later they’re laughing. Not caring at all who sees.

He recalled at fifteen Dean having a panic attack because he was scheduled for a doctor’s visit, his first in months. Visits never meant anything good; shock treatments, experimental drugs, and endurance tests that may as well be considered near death experiences. Seth was in and out every month, Dean knew that so he tried to pretend his visit was no big deal but he cracked once they were in his room. 

“I’ve never gotten shocks before, do they hurt?” Dean asked once he had gotten his breathing under control.

Seth looked away, unsure if he should tell the truth or not.

“Please just tell me.”

Seth gave a little nod. “At first. Then you fade out, pain’s still there but you're not. I don't think they’ll give you shocks though.”

“Why not?”

“I think they see something different in you. They give you a little more freedom than most, visits are just kind of reminders.”

“So what, that means injections or something? Like that’s any better? I felt bugs under my fucking skin for weeks.” Dean’s voice splintered again and Seth puts an arm over his shoulder hoping that it was some comfort. “I don’t understand how any of this makes us better recruits.”

“Mother says it strengthens the mind.”

“It’s torture.” Dean spat.

He didn’t argue, just held Dean a little closer because that’s what friends do.

When he was sixteen that word changed, became something more. Mother and Father had officially noticed them now and had decided to pair them together, citing that it was most likely temporary depending on their continued compatibility. But Dean and Seth found the word temporary unacceptable and they’d run every god awful survival course thrown at them to prove it. Then they’d slink off to the showers, turn on every faucet and lay on the tiles letting the heat consume the room.

“We’re going to be unstoppable.” Seth said, a little out of breath.

Dean sat up, casual smirk on his face. “Bet you we could run this place someday.”

“You really think so?”

“They know we’re the best here and one day Mother and Father won’t be around anymore. I think that’s why they paired us.”

Seth wanted to agree but knew Mother and Father’s minds changed from one second to the next.

“Hey, close your eyes for a second.” Dean said.

“Why?”

“Just close them.” He sighed.

“If this is some kind of-”

Suddenly Dean crashed his lips against Seth’s and the world seemed to stop. He shivered, it felt nice and wanted to pull Dean closer but push him away at the same time because Seth had no idea what just happened or why Dean would do smoosh their lips together. Was this something he was supposed to know?

“What… I don’t, uh-” He began and Dean’s face dropped.

“It’s ok if you don’t feel the same. I just-”

“No!” Seth quickly cut him off, sitting up. “What did you just do?”

Dean looked at him confused. “What?”

“You-” He pointed to his lips. “The thing you just did.”

“Kiss?”

“Kiss.” Seth repeated. “I don’t know what that is.”

“How do you not-” Dean stopped himself and Seth wondered what version of his past the other teen was thinking of.

But Dean continued on, sounded almost shy about it. “You kiss someone you really like. Someone you think is special. It’s like a hug but more important, stronger.”

Seth tried to think through Dean’s words. Dean thought he was important and that alone made him feel a little lightheaded. 

“Well anyone with half a brain could’ve told you I was special.” He said smoothly and Dean flicked his ear.

“I’m trying to tell you that I-”

“Kiss me again.” Seth interrupted. “You did it by surprise so it doesn’t count.”

The smile on Dean’s face made him feel warm even in the heat of the showers. Their next kiss is slower, softer, Seth felt a bit silly as he had no idea what he was doing but Dean seemed to which of course made him curious.

“Who else have you kissed?” He asked.

“Just you.”

“How do you know if you’re doing it right?”

“I’ve seen people do it.” Dean answered.

“Fine. But how am I supposed to know if I’m getting better at it?”

“...Are you seriously thinking about trying to beat me at kissing?” Dean laughed leaving Seth sputtering. 

“I wasn’t- That’s not… Was it obvious?”

He felt Dean smile when they kissed again. It left his skin tingling and mentally Seth gave him the win, pretty sure Dean knew it too.

At seventeen things had never seemed better. If Seth knew what was ahead maybe he would’ve savored their last kiss. Would’ve found some way to apologize even if it didn’t matter. He would’ve done anything to prevent him from looking at Seth like everyone else did. A heartless monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to those who commented and gave kudos last chapter! I was pretty nervous with this fic cause I wrote a bunch and just stared at it later like "What if it's not good though?!" This is a pretty self indulgent fic ya'll just playing with ideas that sparked my brain so thanks again! Bear with me on these backstory chapters haha <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Character death and violence (sorry ya'll!)

Dean knows he has to bring it up, has to ask Seth even if it becomes an argument. The limp is almost imperceptible if he wasn’t looking for it, but it’s been there since they left the house.

“Your knee ok?”

He expects a glare or snippy remark but Seth shrugs. “Sore.”

It’s refreshing to hear him be honest after the past two years glares and mostly silence between them. 

“You might have to change the way you fight.” Dean says trying to continue the conversation.

“I’ll be fine.” Seth dismisses.

“I remember a certain someone giving me advice on my strengths and weaknesses years back.”

“And you barely listened.”

“I listened plenty.” Dean says as they turn onto the hidden dirt road leading to the trailer. “You need a different plan while your knee heals.”

Seth makes a small noncommittal noise but Dean swears he sees him nod.

A few months ago Dean was waiting outside his room waiting outside his room for his new teammate when the news broke.

Balor came up to him with a look of nervousness, like Dean would hit him on sight. “Did you hear about Rollins?”

“What about him?” His curiosity instantly peaked but he managed to sound uncaring. 

“He got hurt. Pretty bad from what I heard.”

“What happened?” He asked, his act of apathy cracking.

Balor shrugged. “No specifics yet, but someone saw him being wheeled to the infirmary. Said he was crying and shouting at everyone, probably made up so people can talk shit. I mean he can be, well,-”

Dean’s glad Balor stopped himself because he really doesn’t feel like punching him. In truth it’s not Balor’s fault he thought that way, Seth was a hell of a lot more cocky than he used to be and even if Dean liked to think it’s all for show he’s not entirely sure. After what happened they barely spoke to each other, Seth didn’t even bother to taunt him like the others just ignored him when possible. It hurt and with neither acknowledging the pain they both clearly carried it only pushed them further and further away. He remembered the first time Seth called him Ambrose and how it felt like a knife through his heart, as though everything they were to each other was gone.

He wanted to see Seth immediately but forced himself to wait at least a week before going to the infirmary. He thought that maybe seeing Seth look so miserable would make him feel a bit better about everything but it was the total opposite. The second they set eyes on each other Dean never wanted to be anywhere but Seth’s side and knew other teen felt the same way.

“I’m sorry.” Were the first words out of Seth’s mouth. “I know it doesn’t mean anything but I am.”

Dean wished he could say it’s ok because he understood, he truly does and yet there’s still so much anger in the memory. The worst part was that it’s not even geared toward Seth he’s just the unfortunate catalyst for it all. 

“What happened?” He ignored the apology.

“My knee’s torn to fuck.” And Dean’s a little proud in the fact that he’s the reason Seth even uses swear words. “Surgery went fine but I’m sidelined. ...I don’t know why they didn’t just kill me.”

Dean stared wide eyed. How could that ever be an option? “Why would they ever kill you? You’re the best they have.”

“Not after this. Balor’s going to replace me anyway. They paired him with you.”

“He’s not you and they know that. We-” He sighed, lets his fingers trace over Seth’s.

“What?”

“We were pretty fucking flawless.” And damn did he miss Seth’s smile wanted to kiss him right there but they both knew there were eyes and ears on them, what they were saying just then was bad enough.

“You still will be.” 

“Shut up. They wouldn’t keep you here if they thought you were done.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be here anymore.” Seth whispered and Dean’s shocked, he never thought of Seth going that far off the ledge. 

But Seth wasn’t talking suicide. He took Dean’s hand, ran his fingers over his palm slowly spelling out one simple life changing word.

Escape.

Back at the trailer they sort through their found supplies and Seth goes off to lie in the grass. Sometimes Dean forgets how childlike he can be, the excited smiles before they’d run a course or how animated he could get when it was just the two of them. He’d act downright bratty sometimes but not in the pretentious manner he would in front of other recruits. It was the kind of thing where Seth would whine if Dean tried to pull himself away during a quick nap and cling onto him with some unknown vice grip he was always surprised by. Lecture classes that Seth would get bored in so he’d spend the entire time tapping and trailing words with his fingers on Dean’s thigh under the desk making sure neither of them paid any attention. 

He might’ve complained about it at the time but the casualness of it felt so freeing within their very structured world. Enough that he was always slightly taken aback at how quickly Seth could go from soft smiles to cold and calculated. Dean could do it too but it was more of a natural transition whereas with Seth it was a sudden flip of a switch. It felt conditioned. What did Mother and Father do to him? 

“You up for a spar?” Dean asks from the back door. “Try out some different moves.”

It had been a long time since they’d fought and even at this slower pace the way they move is like breathing, each knowing the other so well. But Seth isn’t as fast on his feet and is caught in hold after hold, growing more impatient each time.

“If you can’t move fast enough you gotta think up another way. I’ve killed you four times now.”

“I can’t- You’re being-” He sighs angrily, running a hand through his hair.

“Don’t make excuses.” Dean taps at Seth’s chest. “Figure this out.”

“It’s not that easy!” Seth growls out swatting his arm away. 

“No, fuck that. You’re Seth Rollins. The best doesn’t give a shit about easy, they just get it done.”

The next time they go Seth knocks him down with a hard elbow that leaves him a bit dazed. Dean’s grinning much too wide to even care about the apology Seth gives him as he helps Dean back up.

“There you go. Just needed a little push.” His grin fractures momentarily at the words and Seth sees it but thankfully chooses to ignore it. “Let’s go again.”

Dean had only gotten pulled once while at the institute. It lasted two weeks, a tiny fragment of time compared to others but it was enough to change him. Hell, the first day was more than enough. It was a few months after he and Seth got paired when a guard came for him one morning telling him that Father requested to see him. He lead Dean through an underground passageway he had never been to that seemed to go on forever. Everything felt off, from the chill in the air settling into his bones to the green hue of the overhead lights that made his eyes twitch.

Finally he’s brought out a large empty room, Father stood there and Dean felt like he was thirteen again being sized up. “Ambrose, do you remember why you were brought to the institute?”

“I was protecting my mom.” He answered.

“What did you do to protect her?”

“I hurt her boyfriend.”

“Hurt?”

Dean took a slow breath. “I killed him.”

“And that’s why we chose you. Protecting those who need it is what being a part of The Authority is all about.”

“You can protect people without killing others.” He challenged a little surprised at his own courage.

“It’s a last resort but it happens.” Father agreed but it didn’t sound all that convincing. “You have to be prepared.”

He then understood why he was there. What Father was going to ask him to do.

“I don’t think I can. That was different.”

“The people you would be assigned aren’t innocent. Their deaths mean lives saved.”

Dean didn’t feel bad about his Mother’s boyfriend and it was the lack of guilt that bothered him. He wanted to protect people, it was one of the most appealing things about joining The Authority, but Dean didn’t want to become a heartless killer.

Father watched him silently argue with himself for a moment then spoke to the camera positioned in the corner of the room. “Show him.”

A projector above sprung to life an image appearing on the wall. It shows another room similar to the one Dean’s in, only there appeared to be a clear barrier down the middle. On one side a large man paced back and forth on the other a teenager laid unmoving on their side, a pale blond streak covering most of the teen’s face. Seth.

“You have ten minutes before the gate opens and he tears Rollins apart.”

“He could take him.” Dean said more to himself than to Father.

“He could if he wasn’t sedated. Not everyone’s lucky enough to die in their sleep.” 

He stared helplessly at the image another moment then turned back to Father. “Give me a gun.” 

He should’ve realized it wasn’t going to be as straightforward as Father made it seem. The door he had been sent to was not the one with Seth. Two men were waiting for Dean when he entered the room, they looked enraged lunging for him the second they saw him. Dean moved to dodge them, wanted no part of this but what choice did he have?

Dean shot the first guy twice in the chest while the other tackled him hard to the ground. All the air escaped his lungs gun falling out of his hand. Dean’s head was screaming, he didn’t have much time but the man was stronger, a stiff punch to the head made him see stars. The thought of Seth being beaten to death burned through his mind and Dean forced himself to focus, headbutted him as hard as he could. Blood poured down the other’s nose, pulled back just enough for Dean to grab the handgun and blow the man’s brains out. 

He wanted to vomit, squirmed away and stood up on unsteady feet to the next room. Seth was still unconscious while the pacing man kept his eyes on him. Dean’s grip on the gun tightened, the vicious look on the older man’s face fueling him. There was a problem, however, the two of them were in a clear paneled cell with Dean on the outside unable to get in. He fired three rounds at the cell to no avail before starting to yell, knew Father had to be watching.

“I’m here! Let me in!” 

The door opened but not for him. The man stopped pacing and Dean slammed his fists against the cell walls.

“No! Let me in!” He shouted desperately. “Please!”

His door unlocked and there was no hesitation, Dean emptied the gun into him and felt an odd sense of satisfaction watching the man hit the ground with a heavy thud. Dean collected himself and knelt beside Seth attempting to wake him but he felt so cold to the touch. Dean shook him, the blond strands falling away from his face, Dean gazed at the teen his eyes growing wet. It wasn’t Seth. They had taken some corpse and made it look like him just to show Dean what he was capable of doing. 

He hadn’t realized Father came into the room until he was being pulled up. There was pride in his voice that despite everything gave Dean a tiny ounce of comfort. “I knew you could do it. Just needed a little push.”

A roar of noise above them interrupts them mid match. They glance up at the large black object flying through the sky and for a minute Dean’s own memory fails him. 

“It’s a helicopter.” He says looking from the sky to Seth.

“It’s louder than I imagined.”

“They fly low, better visuals.” 

“You think it’s for us?”

“Wouldn’t be surprised.” Dean frowns. “...What do you think they’ll do if they catch us?”

Seth shrugs. “Maybe they’ll make you like me.”

When Dean was eighteen he and Seth were inseparable. They’d end up in his room after dinner in Dean’s bed kissing until just before lights out. It was one of the younger teen’s favorite things despite Dean’s playful teasing about him needing more practice. The content little sounds he’d pull from Seth’s throat had his heart racing faster than any course Dean ever ran. The problem was Dean had a roommate, one who wasn’t exactly a fan of Seth.

“Do you guys have to do that here?” Ryder sighed in exasperation.

They sat up and Dean apologizing but Seth stayed silent, at least at first.

“Why don’t you like me?” Seth asked flat out.

“I never said-” Ryder began but Seth cut in.

“I know you do and that’s fine but I’m curious.”

Ryder crossed his arms and glanced over at Dean who shrugged. “It’s not fair. We put in so much work to get noticed, and you, all you have to do is show up.”

“You don’t think I put in any effort?”

“Dean beat you when you came back but they kept the match going. That would’ve never happened to anyone else.”

“You’re right.” Seth conceded. “And I don’t know why they did that.”

“Because you’re the best.” Ryder said in a mock tone Dean wanted to warn him about but Seth took it in stride.

“Maybe if you focused on what you need to do instead of glaring at me you’d get noticed. I’ve watched you at the gun range, you’d be in the top scoring if your stance wasn’t so bad.”

“What’s wrong with how I stand?” Ryder asked, a confused scowl on his face.

“Your hips are off. No one’s paid attention because you’re a decent shot. Fix it and you’ll be perfect. Ask Dean to help you.”

“Why don’t you?”

“Dean’s a better shot than me.” He said simply.

“What’s with you giving compliments?” Dean gawked. “You feeling ok?”

“...I can be nice sometimes.” Seth said quietly and Dean threw an arm around him, pulling him into a tight hug. 

The next day Dean helped Ryder at the gun range and sure enough he was third in scores for the day right behind Dean and Seth. Afterward Ryder had given Seth what could be considered a half smile but it was enough and that feeling of belonging hit Dean again. They didn’t need to fight each other for The Authority’s attention, they could work together. 

Then one morning the speakers sounded off calling for all fifteen remaining recruits to come to the sparring arena. Normally it would be empty, a painted square on the floor in the middle of the room. Today it was fitted to be an obstacle course, walls for cover with set traps throughout. It looked much easier than the ones he and Seth ran but it still left him with an uneasy feeling. The biggest thing was that Mother and Father stood in front to greet them, a rarity for most, leaving everyone in tense excitement. They announced today was a day of consolidation, a true test of who was worthy.

Mother took a step forward, stared down at each and every one of them. “Being a part of The Authority is an honor but it comes with a heavy responsibility to serve those who need us. Protecting lives as well as taking them.”

A wave of realization passed through everyone, the excitement now gone leaving only tension and fear. He glanced over at Seth who’s eyes were focused on the ground a mournful expression on his face. Dean wondered how many of the others had taken a life. By the looks of some today would be the first time and it would one of their fellow recruits.

"The trouble is we have an uneven number." Father eyed them. "We've decided to give one of you a pass."

Everyone's gaze was on Seth, hell even Dean's. Judging by the pure looks of anger they all knew he'd get to skip this. Dean’s certain he heard someone whisper of the words “mommy and daddy’s little favorite” and there’s this tiny part of him that agreed but he knew better. Knew how hard Seth pushed himself and how much pressure Mother and Father put on him. He knew there’s a real person behind that cocky grin that everyone sees. Doesn’t know what he’s going to do if they don’t both make it out of this. 

Father let them stew for a moment then looked to Seth. “Balor, congratulations you can leave.”

Seth’s head shot up, staring at Father in confusion and what seemed like heartbreak. 

Balor was good, consistently scored well in their training. They never spoke much and Dean assumed it was due to his friendship with Seth, something he had always rolled his eyes at. Despite that he had no real animosity toward the guy other than how bizarre that he’d be chosen over Seth. What were Mother and Father trying to do?

Dean didn’t get much time to think it over as he's chosen for the first match, thrown against someone he could easily take down. He didn't want to do this and was about to voice that when a throwing knife whizzed by his head. Years of training kicked in and Dean knew what he needed to do. 

Survive or die. 

It ended quickly, Dean grabbed a gun and dodged more knives before he took a shot. One bullet to the head and the recruit crumpled into a heap. It's as simple and easy as it’s been since he was pulled. So much so it scared him. How was doing this creating the family they had promised? A numbness overtook him as Dean gazed at the body on the floor, wanted to go back to his room and try to sort his mind out, make sense of what was happening. He didn't get to leave though, there was a special area off to the side for "winners" to watch the rest of the matches. A clear paneled cell that only added to the sickening feeling in the air.

"Rollins." Mother called out three matches later. 

Dean grew tense, Seth could handle anyone they threw at him. Dean just didn't want to see it.

"Ryder."

He wanted to break through the cell walls, smash everything in sight, and set the whole institute on fire. This wasn't fair and the look in both Seth and Ryder's eyes made him want to scream. The pair walked over to the weapons rack placed off to the side, Ryder chose a handgun while Seth picked up a combat knife. Every minute felt like ten watching the two move through the course, gunshots rang out but Seth easily avoided them never attempting to attack. Dean doesn't know what's worse, the wait or already knowing how it would end. He watched as Seth silently crept forward unbeknownst to Ryder, Dean expected to see blood gushing from Ryder's throat any second but Seth hit him hard with the butt of his knife sending Ryder to the floor in a daze. 

"First blood. I win. Call it." Seth looked directly at Father, a commanding tone to his voice Dean had never heard before. 

"Matches will end when a competitor is dead, not before."

"I've already proven myself, he doesn't need to die."

Mother crossed the arena stopping just in front of Seth. Her face calm, whispered something that suddenly caused Seth to relax. Cupped his face asking a question he nodded to, then she pointed to Ryder. Seth took an easy step over to Ryder who was just beginning to stir and knelt down straddling his hips. Ryder had no time to react as the knife plunged into his chest. All he does is gasp and shriek with each new stab. 

It was horrifying. 

It wasn’t a clean take down like they were taught, this was animalistic. Seth tore into him and all they could do was watch. When it's over he stood up and gave Mother a pleased smile. Dean felt sick to his stomach, nothing made sense anymore. 

"The remaining matches will resume after the arena is cleaned and cleared." Mother announced cooly.

Guards appear and lead the remaining teens out of the arena. Seth stood beside Mother not even looking at Dean, his eyes unfocused.  
If they had gotten the chance to talk afterward maybe Dean would've understood then what he knows now but Seth got pulled right after his match. He's gone for five months. Enough time for Dean to feel completely alone and let bitterness take hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, giant thank you to everyone following along. You guys rock!


	4. Chapter 4

“Sierra. Hotel. India. Echo. Lima. Delta.” 

All it takes is a few words and Seth is nothing. He'll follow Mother’s orders no matter how despicable, there was already proof of that. Mother had woken him from the trance to show Seth what he had done. What she could make him do. Shock became screams of horror then rage. He lunged after her, the knife still in his hand. Father took him down hard, Seth's head hitting the concrete floor with a thud. 

"You thought you could talk back to us without facing any consequences? Maybe we should have you kill Ambrose too for good measure." Father looked down at him with disgust. 

The thought of doing the same to Dean made him visibly shake. Then came the realization Dean and everyone else had seen what he did to Ryder and it's all so much worse. This wasn't assassination this was murder and after all this time of being stared at with such dislike everyone finally had a reason to hate him. 

"You're being pulled for reconditioning." Mother said, her voice tinted with disappointment.

Seth hadn’t been pulled since he was twelve and due to numerous doctor visits over the years he only had vague memories of it. He remembered feeling exhausted, a constant ache in his limbs. But those days also held the only times Seth felt any real happiness before meeting Dean. Mother would come to his room every night and rundown his status for the day, she always seemed pleased at how well he’d done. It was the closest thing Seth had to understanding what it was like to have an actual mother.

This was five months of pure punishment.

It began with injection treatments. He knew the routine, get strapped down to a chair and be given a shot of something that made his heart race a bit too fast and his vision blurred and reshaped his surroundings. Seth would shut his eyes, listen and answer the questions Mother had for him. 

“Your name?”

“Seth Rollins.”

“Where are you?”

“The Institute.”

“Why are you here?”

“To join The Authority.”

“Your name?”

It tested his ability to focus under stress and after the years Seth had gotten fairly good at it. He wasn’t prepared for this, however. In his right arm was the usual intravenous tube securely taped down and ready for the first dose. He took a slow breath watching the liquid push through then the rush of adrenaline swept through him. Suddenly Seth felt a prick, saw a second needle plunging into a vein of his left arm another tube being taped in place. He wanted to ask what it was for when the injection did it for him. It was like running full speed into a wall. His head swam, wanted to throw up but Mother snapped her fingers at him.

“Your name.”

And then Seth remembered he needed to breathe. “Ssseth. Ro- Roll…”

“You refused to kill Ryder. Why?”

Seth blinked tiredly in response, the question too complex. The doctor moved over to his right and prepared another dose. A few seconds later Seth was gasping, his heart hammered furiously in his chest. 

“Why did you refuse?”

“Couldn’t.” He answered. “I couldn’t- couldn’t…”

“That’s not a real answer, Seth.” She said giving a nod to the doctor.

He didn’t have a chance to tell her to stop, all the air from his lungs had vanished. She watched as he desperately tried to keep conscious. Seth felt everything slip away from him and uselessly fought at the straps holding him in place.

“Why?” She asked again and Seth simply groaned. She took a step forward her stern voice softening just a fraction. “I don’t want to make him give you another round but you need to answer me.”

“...he didn’t... Couldn’t.”

She sighed then Seth was screaming. He was going to die strapped to some chair with Dean’s last thought of him was being a monster and Mother looking at him as a failure. 

“Friends!” He cried. “I wanted friends!”

His body began to give out at the final injection. Seth wanted to explain himself but he was a babbling incoherent mess, unsure if was drooling or if he had actually vomited.

“You failed us. You need to improve or be replaced. I think you still have potential, Father’s not so sure.”

That night everything hit him at once. Residual tremors made his limbs involuntarily twitch. He’d close his eyes trying to sleep but his mind would flash to Ryder’s body, the blood on his hands and the panic in his voice. Last night he had been in bed with Dean, he tried to convince Seth to stay past lights out but he declined, mindful of the trouble it could cause.

“We can’t give them any reason to separate us.”

Turned out Seth would do that all by himself.

Every other day Seth was dosed with something that would leave him unbalanced then thrown into an obstacle course he’d barely claw his way out of. The floors would cave in, climbing walls with random electrified hand holds, a sudden thick fog he wasn’t sure was real covered everything leaving Seth lost and frightened. Most of the time there’d be an opponent or two within the course and a simple take down was never acceptable.

“Kill him.” Father’s voice boomed through the speakers.

“And if I don’t?” Seth asked one day immediately regretting it, quickly slashed his opponents throat as if hoping Father would forgive his little outburst.

For a moment it seemed he did until he came into Seth’s room that night. He started to sit up when Father pushed him back down, his gaze keeping Seth firmly in place.

“You shouldn’t be afraid of death, yours or others. Death is easy. It’s a gift. The man you killed today was gone in seconds.”

“Was Ryder?” He asked and Father chuckled.

“No, there’s a viciousness inside you. It was a nice surprise, but, it also means you’ve been holding back and I don’t like that.”

“I didn’t want to-”

“Why are you here?” Father asked coldly. 

“What?”

“Why are you here?”

“I, um-” Father suddenly grabbed him by the arm and threw him off the bed to the ground.

“You’ve become weak!” He stood above Seth, anger radiating from him. “Get up and show me you’re worth a damn. Get up!”

He’s barely on his feet when Father shoved him roughly against a wall. “Improve or you’ll understand how much of a gift death really is.”

Father was always the one to push him, to do better and be faster. Doctor visits that would end in shock treatments because he felt Seth’s mind was getting cloudy. He needed to be reminded what his purpose was; be the perfect recruit, join The Authority, become third in command after Mother and Father. Dean being by his side used to be part of that list but after what had happened Seth knew that was no longer an option. Part of him knew Father had a cruel streak but if it made him the best then so be it. 

He’d prove to them he wasn’t a failure. 

Easier said than done.

During his five months Seth soon learned that treatments and running courses on hallucinogens were nothing in comparison to sparring with Father. He never won and didn’t even stand a chance. It was humiliating. What’s worse is that Mother would watch as he was tossed to the ground over and over. He’d manage to evade a few attacks before getting hit so hard the room would spin. But he’d get up and continued to until one of them called it.

Months down the line Mother finally visited him one night after a particularly embarrassing match. He was still feeling the effects of the previous day’s treatment and his body wasn’t responding to him. Panic flooded him and tears sprung forward, Father looked at him with such disdain then swept Seth’s legs out from under him. He ended the match and walked off. Seth heard Mother sigh, her footsteps growing faint in the distance leaving him on the floor unable to move. 

When she came in he was ready to apologize but she held up a hand, silencing him. 

“You’ve done well before, you will again.”

It was the first truly kind words he had heard in months. Seth nodded dumbly and thanked her as she strode over and sat on the side of the bed.

“Father wants you to be the best, just like I do. That’s why he pushes you so hard.”

“I know.” Seth slowly sat up. “I didn’t mean to cry. My body- I didn’t have control.”

“Yesterday’s doses may have been stronger than necessary.” She admitted. “But you need to see clearly, you’ve been distracted for too long.”

Dean’s name floated in the air but he couldn’t make himself say it.

“I’ll do better.” Seth promised. “I don’t need him.”

He wondered if Mother thought he was lying because even as he said it it didn’t sound right. So he tried to cover his tracks in another way.

“Why did Father choose Balor?” It may not have been the best tactic but he needed to get away from any thoughts of Dean.

“He shows promise.” She answered. “There’s no need for jealousy.”

“I’m not.” He lied. “I just thought he’d choose me.”

“Think of it this way, he’s now focused on making you flawless. That might not have happened if you were given a pass.”

Seth nodded again, gazing down at his hands.

Her hand felt soft as she cupped his cheek bringing his vision up to match hers. “You’ve done well so far. We’re proud of you, your failures hurt us as much as they hurt you.”

Seth smiled, because even if Dean despised him Mother still cared. He wouldn’t fail her again. 

Toward the end of his five months Father tells him the obvious, he’s no longer paired with Dean, but the way Father words it left no doubt that Dean himself requested it. His heart ached for a moment then he shoved the feeling away as hard as he could. 

That was it, Dean wanted nothing more to do with him. Seth was back where he was at ten, alone and despised by everyone. What was he supposed to do, beg for forgiveness from someone who hated him? Seth was going to do things on his own like he was meant to. Become the best and Dean would just have to deal with being second choice in regards to The Authority. 

Except the first time he saw Dean again Seth's heart is in his throat. Wished so badly he could say everything that'd built up the last five months but doesn't, walks right passed Dean on his way to the gun range. It got a little easier after a while, kept focus on the task at hand and threw on a cocky smile afterward. Most times he's still at the top but there were days when Dean got ahead and Seth had to deal with that grin he used to like so much. It's close to a year when he notices Dean's stopped glaring at him and Seth allowed himself breathe because that's it, they're done existing to each other now.

It didn't hurt. At least that's what Seth told himself. 

Then one day Dean walked right up to him in the showers. "What's the scar on your arm from?" 

Seth doesn't even have time to glare. "Injections."

"Doesn't look like a puncture." Dean traced the small rough line on his arm while Seth just gawked at him.

"I ripped it out, tore through-" He stopped, thought of shoving him away. "Why does it matter to you anyway?" 

"I was thinking..." Dean frowned then shook his head. "Whatever. You were lousy in your sparring match, just cause someone's weaker doesn't mean you go easy on them."

"I won." 

"You were slow."

"So?!” He snarled. How dare Dean think he could just talk to him like they were friends “I slacked off and he still lost. No one’s even a challenge here.” 

“Maybe I should request a match.”

“Only if you have a deathwish.” He glared but Dean just smirked.

“I don’t think you could.”

“You think I still give a fuck about you?”

“Careful, mommy and daddy might not like you swearing.”

Seth wanted to hit him, feel his fist connect against Dean’s jaw, but he stared at him unimpressed. “You’re nothing special, Ambrose.” 

There's this look in Dean's eyes he doesn’t quite understand. 

Hurt? 

It can't be. Not from Dean. 

Then Seth got injured. Messed up his landing running an obstacle course, felt his knee wobble and ultimately give way. Then he was shucked off to the infirmary when they should’ve just put a bullet in his head. Instead there's surgery and Seth's told he's going to be sidelined until he's ready for rehab. Essentially, he was going to be left to rot and think about how he'd failed again. 

He childishly hoped that maybe at least Mother would come see him at some point but she didn’t. They had officially abandoned Seth and chose Balor as his replacement. Everything he’d done was for nothing. For a few days Seth thought about killing himself now that his entire purpose in life had been taken from him. 

And then Dean showed up. 

All it takes is one shared look and everything, the distrust, anger, and hurt began to melt away. Dean had zero reason to see him, should be ecstatic that Seth’s injured, but there’s worry in his eyes like he’d been fearing the worst. Memories of being together flooded him, not of running courses or doing whatever task they were assigned but the times alone. The hours spent in Dean’s bed under the covers so the cameras couldn’t see them as if it wasn’t obvious what they were doing. Dean’s stupid habit of kissing his scrapes and bruises in the showers that Seth found himself reciprocating. He missed Dean so much but held the feeling so far away now it hit him like a tidal wave.

They weren’t going to take him away again. Seth would rather die first. 

He apologized for Ryder knowing it wouldn’t do anything but it needed to be said. Dean paid no attention to it, sat with him as a new plan formed in Seth’s mind. He was tired of being Mother and Father’s plaything, to be praised and crushed whenever they saw fit. He and Dean had fit each other perfectly, they knew that and destroyed it. There was only one choice. Escape. 

"I started realizing what might've happened when Balor was talking about doctor visits and memory loss." Dean said staring at his palm as if the word had been indented in the skin. "When it happened... you didn't look like yourself." 

"Mother woke me up after, I don't remember any of it." Seth thought back to standing above Ryder’s body, a tremor ran through him. "I didn't... I didn't want to."

"I know. It's just-" Dean sighed, combed a hand through his hair and Seth knew the memory wasn’t going to fade anytime soon, if ever.

But Dean surprises him, ran his fingers over Seth's palm tapped the center then leaned in close whispering to him. “Together.”

"Listen to what they tell you, get your knee back into shape, alright?" Dean said at normal volume as he pulled away. "Sooner you get better sooner I can beat your ass in a match."

 

Seth manages two more take downs during the sparring session outside the trailer. Dean seems pleased but Seth knows he should be doing better, needs to be in case anything happens. They’re not safe out here but Seth has no idea what they’re next move should be.

"Hey." Dean taps his forehead, Seth resting in the grass while Dean sits beside him. "You're overthinking, that's why you're messing up."

"Having a plan isn't a bad thing." Seth grumbles and Dean chuckles because this is them, a constant push pull. 

"Close your eyes." Dean says.

"Dean..."

"I'll even overlook you being completely rusty." He grins in challenge and now Seth has to. 

It's strange feeling so much from something so simple. A warm buzz passing through him as the world around them drifts away. He's kind of amazed it's even happening considering how things were a year ago. 

"Yea, you could use some more practice." Dean teases.

Seth shoves at his chest, laughing. "Fucker!"

"Stay where you are!" A voice from behind shouts, startling them both.

The man is in a brown uniform Seth has never seen before. He's taller and more physically built than both of them but most importantly his hand rests firmly on the handle of a holstered gun. The two of them against one guy with a gun, not a difficult task for the pair.

"I need you to get on your knees. Hands above your head. Slowly." The man instructs.

Seth glances to Dean, almost smiles at the determined look on his face. A subtle nod and they're following the man's instructions waiting for their moment. The man cautiously steps forward taking Seth's wrists pulling them behind his back when Dean strikes. Tackles the guy to the ground and gets in a solid punch to the temple. It's enough time for Seth to get the gun from his holster and fire a warning shot. The man doesn't fight anymore after that, Dean grabs the handcuffs off his belt and cuffs the guy's hands behind his back.

"Who sent you?" Seth asks pointing the gun at the man's face. 

"I'm here to help." He answers in a calm tone.

"Help?"

"Take you back home. Out here isn't very safe for you guys."

"The fuck are you talking about?" Dean questions. "Who are you?"

"Holt View police. Chief Reigns." His eyes never leave Seth. "Had some folks from the Daybridge Wellness Clinic looking for you."

"Wellness Clinic?" Seth repeats, confused.

"It's where you two are from." Chief Reigns explains in a slow voice like he's talking to two children. "I can take you there and-"

"Don't talk to us like we're fucking idiots." Dean growls. "We'll make it simple. Did Mother & Father send you to find us?" 

He shakes his head. "Just two clinic workers worried about their patients."

Dean scoffs at him, flicks his fingers at the Chief's already bruising temple. "Sorry Reigns, but we're no one's patients so you better start telling the truth before my friend puts a bullet in your leg." 

"I haven't lied once. I understand things can be confusing for you boys but I'm just looking out for the safety of my town."

"You're the one who's confused." Seth says. "We're not here to hurt anyone, we just want to be left alone."

"Lump on my head says different."

Dean sighs, crossing his arms. "We don't have time for this. Do these clinic people know you were coming out here?" 

"They probably followed him." Seth instantly grows tense. "We should leave."

A gunshot rings out and Reigns falls back. Seth quickly glances around but there's no one in sight. Reigns groans, blood seeping from his arm. Part of Seth wants to leave him there, it's his fault Mother & Father found them but he's also an idiot who doesn't know any better. 

"Get him inside." Seth tells Dean, gun now aimed towards what he hopes is the source of the gunfire. 

A flash of movement has him sending out a shot. Slowly Seth backtracks toward the trailer as the other two make it inside. The air whooshes past his head and the pop of the metal wall behind him makes Seth freeze. There's a rustle of leaves and out from the forest steps a familiar face. Balor, rifle in hand stares at him with blank eyes Seth instantly understands. 

Seth wants to laugh as Balor takes aim. No better way to go out than his replacement putting him down. He raises the gun ready to fire when Seth looks into Balor’s eyes again. Seth is jealous of Balor’s rise to the top, he can admit it. But this is Mother and Father’s doing, they were the ones in control. 

“Fuck.” He hisses and dashes inside.

Dean looks up from examining Reigns’ wound, handcuffs now tossed to the side. “Is it them?”

“Balor. He looks like… He’s not himself.”

Dean lets out a curse while Reigns stares at them. “Who the hell are you guys?”

“Long story. Tell you all about it if we survive.” Seth holds out the gun to Dean. “You know him better. I’ll just kill him.”

“You wouldn’t.” Dean reassures, taking the gun and standing up.

“You sure about that, Ambrose?”

Seth doesn’t know if he means that as a dig at their trust or if he’d truly aim to kill Balor. He’d spent so many years proving himself to Mother and Father for it all to fall apart. They even paired him with Dean like some final punishment of how badly he failed.

He pulls himself away at that and goes over to Reigns but situation there is no better. “We don’t have anything that can really help this.”

“Any more like him coming?”

“No, he’s diff-” He pauses, Mother and Father had to be close. “Worse. A lot worse is on the way.”

“Medkit in the trunk, not much. But, there’s a shotgun in there that might be handy.” Reigns holds up keys to the squad car. 

Seth takes the keys with a smirk. “You might not be so bad, Reigns.”

Dean runs distraction on the opposite side of the trailer while Seth sneaks over to the car. At the first sound of gunfire pops open the trunk. Grabs the shotgun and medkit easily enough then narrowly misses another shot to the skull. He ducks behind the car and tries to think up a plan of attack as he loads the rifle. 

Just don’t kill him.

“You missed me twice now, Balor! Thought you were better than that!” Seth shouts putting on his usual arrogant smile.

He briefly wonders if the last thing Balor remembers is Mother’s voice, another pang of jealousy hits. Maybe it’s Father’s instead considering he’s the one who gave Balor a pass that day everything went to hell. It shouldn’t make Seth angry as it does but there he is moving on autopilot and pulling the trigger. A pleased smile growing on his face seeing the impact of the bullet tearing into Balor’s thigh sending him to the ground. 

Seth races over to him, needs to get there before Dean for his own selfish reasons. “You think you can replace me?!” 

He strikes Balor in the face with the shotgun stock content in seeing him cough up blood. Balor swings the rifle hard against Seth’s bad knee sending him toppling forward pulling the other man down with him. Dean’s calling his name but Seth ignores him lands a few more punches knocking Balor out before Dean pulls him away.

“He’s down! Stop!” Dean holds him back.

“I did everything they asked!” He screams, attempting to break free. “Everything!”

“I know... I know. But they did this to him. They did it to you. And they’re probably on their fucking way so we need to figure this out.” 

He stops fighting, glances over at the squad car. “...Reigns.”

“What about him?” Dean releases him and Seth is up and walking into the trailer.

Seth ignores the ache in his knee as he kneels down in front of Reigns slipping a tourniquet from the medkit on his arm. “Are there more weapons where you came from?”

Reigns doesn’t respond and Seth none too gently tightens the strap, continuing on. “The longer you wait the less time we have and I’m not in the mood to die today. So, weapons?”

He receives a frustrated look but gets a nod out of him. “Yea.”

“Good. Now get up. We have to go.” Seth says a bit colder than he should but there isn’t time to hold hands and be gentle.

A memory of Father standing above him flashes by and he’s back out of the trailer, jaw clenched tight enough to crack a tooth. He sighs at Balor, thinks of leaving him to bleed just to show Mother and Father how good they’re new favorite turned out to be but he can’t. Dean’s right, they did this to them both. 

“We’re taking him with us.” He tells Dean. “Can’t promise I won’t punch him again though.”


	5. Chapter 5

The night of their escape had been overwhelming to say the least. The panic of being caught and brought back in for a certain slow painful death. It fueled them through the uneven forest terrain, Seth would pull him up after every stumble and he’d do the same. While fear was a great motivator Dean felt excited, more than he’d ever felt in his whole life. An entire world laid out ahead of them. All they had to do was not die.

Simple enough.

Hopefully.

But Seth kept falling behind and while they’d been moving at a quick pace for what seemed like hours Seth had always been faster than him.

“You hurt?”

“I’m fine.” Seth brushed past him.

That’s when Dean noticed the limp.

“You said your knee was a hundred perecent.”

Seth paused, glancing over at him. “I lied.”

“Are you serious?” Frustration spilling into his voice. “We could’ve waited.”

“I didn’t want to be there anymore.”

Dean thought of the past few weeks. Almost felt like laughing when he realized what spurned this on. Seth could be such a child.

“You’re mad that Balor gets to go first now and you have to wait like the rest of us. That’s it isn’t it?”

Seth continued forward through the trees, ignoring him.

“Admit it.” Dean pressed. He knew it wasn’t a conversation they should really be having, they’ve just barely started getting along again. “I know that’s why.”

“...I earned that spot.” Seth said through gritted teeth.

“So we left because you can’t handle not being the favorite?” The bitterness of two years apart evident in his voice. He’s angry.

He’s angry at two years of stubbornness from both of them. At Seth for ignoring him, taunting everyone else and looking at him like he was invisible. At himself for avoiding him at all costs when Seth came back that by the time he had tried to talk to him it was too late. Now he can’t look at Seth without feeling conflicted. They played into Mother and Father’s game perfectly.

“No, and even if it was does it matter? We’re out now.”

“It matters cause you’re slowing us down and if they catch us we’re dead.”

“Then don’t wait for me if you’re so fucking worried!”

“As if I’m going to leave you behind. Unlike some people I have a conscious.” He could see the sting of hurt in Seth’s eyes but it was gone in an instant.

Seth turned back and marched right up to his face. “Go on. Let it out.”

Dean should’ve kept quiet. Keep it in his head and not force it into Seth’s but he couldn’t stop himself.

“You tore him apart and you smiled. I know it wasn’t you but I can’t get that fucking smile out of my head.”

All the fight drained from Seth, he looked away, his voice quiet. “We should keep moving.”

“I didn’t say you enjoyed it.” Dean said before he could walk away.

“What if I did?” His voice shaky. “It’s not even a rumor anymore how fucked my head is. Bet you all love this, watching me get replaced. Rollins, the failed science experiment.”

Dean wanted to tell Seth he was so much more than what Mother and Father tried to make him. That he’d seen it in the way Seth looked at him when no one was watching. Had felt it whenever Seth would make a point to hold his hand when they laid together. But a loud rumble pulled them away, both momentarily panicking until the noise faded into the distance. Further ahead they came across a road a sign reading Holt View shining in the moonlight.

Seth eyed the sign then trudged ahead. “Let’s go.”

 

The police station is empty, the flickering overhead fluorescent lights give Dean an uneasy feeling but he pushes it aside. The building is small but at least the walls are cement as opposed to the aluminum sheeting of the trailer. Seth glances around, the little frown on his face tells Dean all he needs to know.

“Is this it?” Seth questions. “I was expecting… Aren’t police important? Our trailer is almost as big as this.”

Reigns narrows his eyes. “It’s a small town.”

Seth shrugs, looking over at Dean. “I’ll deal with Balor, you can help Reigns.”

“You sure?”

“I shot him. My responsibility.”

They had placed Balor in a cell unsure of what state he’d be in once he woke up. Seth stared at their fellow recruit, his confident posture giving way just a moment.

“I know what they did to him. All the pain and desperation just for a pat on the head. ...Why am I jealous?”

Before Dean could answer Seth had shaken off the feeling, getting back to the task at hand. Mother and Father were coming for them, they needed to be ready.

“You know, you should probably leave.” Dean tells Reigns as he dresses the wound on his arm. “This, uh, this might end bad.”

“I’d be pretty shit at my job if I threw you the keys and ran away.”

“You could die.”

“Kinda figured.” He says so casually it makes Dean wonder more about the older man but he presses on. ”But whoever’s after you lied to me and I’m not a big fan of that. Plus, you might need some help.”

“We’re fully capable in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Still staying.” Reigns says getting onto his feet as Seth reenters the room. “Anyway, weapons locker.”

It’s a sight for sore eyes and it’s incredibly tempting to drag half the contents out to the main room. Then there’s Seth who picks up a simple handgun, spare ammo, and a combat knife. Makes Dean think back of the days they ran obstacle courses together, half the time Seth wouldn’t even take a gun. Agile and stealthy, he’d slit an opponent's throat before they even knew what was happening. Dean picks up a semi automatic rifle and a handgun for his hip, noting how Seth smirks at him.

“Like old times, right?” He says watching the smirk turn into a soft smile. “Ready to die?”

“Don’t be dumb.” Seth rolls his eyes turning away but Dean grabs his wrist.

He doesn’t know what to say. That Dean forgives him even if he can’t fully form the words. That he’s actually kind of scared, not that he’d admit it but he doesn’t really need to Seth can tell.

Seth slips out of his grip, takes hold of his hand and looks him in the eyes. “We’re not going to die. All the shit they put us through but here we are. We’re stronger than them.”

 

It was late in the day when Dean’s released from being pulled. His first thought was to go straight to his room and curl up in bed. Exhausted physically and mentally, he just wanted to fade into a dreamless sleep. That’s what made him stop in his tracks, knows the second he closes his eyes the nightmares will start. So he turned the corner and headed to Seth’s. 

“You’re back.” The smile on Seth’s face and relief in his voice sent a wave of calming warmth through Dean.

They never spent much time in Seth’s room, the younger teen always complained he didn’t like being in there, that Dean’s room felt more comfortable. Dean saw no difference personally but if it made Seth happy he didn’t mind. Right then all he wanted was be alone with the one person who’d ease away all the weariness and fear from him. 

“What do you do to get it out of your head?” He asked they laid in bed together.

Seth tapped his fingers on Dean’s chest to some unknown rhythm. “I bother you.”

“We’re with each other all day.”

“I know.”

It might’ve been tiredness from the past two weeks but the words hit Dean hard. He pulled Seth into his arms, pressed a light kiss to his forehead and shut his eyes. He knew Mother and Father were watching them but he didn’t care. Tomorrow they’d throw them into another deathtrap of an obstacle course and he and Seth would run it like nothing. Maybe he’d get Seth to do a little bow with him for the camera above. Show Mother and Father that no matter what they would always stand tall. Together.

 

Dean tries to keep calm while waiting in the station but he’s antsy and patience was never one of his strengths. Seth keeps himself busy by wandering off to check on Balor while Dean moves onto pacing around the room.

“Will you sit down.” Reigns gives him an annoyed look. “I thought you-”

He’s cut off by an electric screech that makes them both wince. Suddenly Mother’s voice booms from outside.

“Sierra. Hotel.”

Then comes Seth’s panicked screaming. Dean’s never ran so fast in his life.

“India. Echo. Lima.”

Dean arrives just in time to see Seth point his gun to his temple. The desperate look in his eyes, the soundless apology passing through his lips.

“Delta.”

Time freezes. Seth’s expression softens into a blank stare and Dean’s heart breaks. He needs to act, move, take him down but he can’t. Dean’s legs feel rooted to the spot.

Mother’s voice breaks the silence. “Kill, Ambrose.”

Seth calmly aims the gun away from himself and at Dean, still unable to move. Seth pulls the trigger and he feels himself get ripped away, luckily it isn’t by a bullet. Reigns manages to pull him away just in time but with such force it sends them both to the ground. 

“I can’t- We just gotta knock him out, alright?” He says more to himself than to Reigns.

Two against one is good odds but it’s Seth and Dean knows he’s dealt with worse. He gets up onto his feet trying to think up a quick plan. 

“He’ll be after me. So you need to…” Dean wants to tell Reigns that he can’t do it. The other man seems to be able to read him well enough, gives him a little nod.

“C’mon Seth!” He shouts backing further into the room. “You heard them! Let’s see if you can beat me for once!”

It’s strange how Seth’s cool robotic demeanor throws him off balance so severely. His mind flashes back to Ryder’s mangled corpse. How pleased Seth looked. Would he have that little smile on his face as he stood over Dean’s body?

His reaction time is slow nearly gets hit by the next shot, bullet grazing his arm tearing a chunk of flesh with it. He needs to focus or he’s dead and Seth’s back with them. He can’t let that happen. Problem is he has no real clue what to do. Seth keeps staring at him with those fucking eyes and he can’t think.

Then Reigns fires into the ceiling above Seth’s head. It’s enough to make Dean snap back to the present. Now Seth is watching Reigns, giving Dean the perfect opportunity to strike, if he can. Unfortunately, Dean’s never been as stealthy and the sudden excruciating pain in his right shoulder only provides proof of that. He stares into those blank eyes and feels nothing but rage.

He barrels into Seth bringing him to the floor. He can’t let Reigns do this, he has to. Dean can tell himself that knocking him out is the only way short from killing Seth but it doesn’t make hitting him any easier. His shoulder is screaming and Dean sends out a punch that’s probably harder than he means to sending Seth’s head back with an awful thud. 

Dean pushes himself away from Seth’s now unconscious body. Yells out a few more obscenities while trying not to hyperventilate. Reigns is over by his side checking out his shoulder but his focus is still on Seth. The man he loves. Mother and Father’s favorite toy. 

“What if he’s stuck like that?” Dean mumbles, tears beginning to form. “The fuck am I supposed to do?”

He gets his answer sooner than expected hearing noises coming from the cell room. Balor’s awake and looks completely confused. Dean feels relieved he might start crying again. 

“Where am I?” Balor tries to move and winces at his leg.

“Uh, outside. Outside the Institute, I mean.”

“How- Was I?...” There’s a note of fear and worry in Balor’s voice.

Dean nods and unlocks the cell. “How’s your leg?”

“Hurts like hell. What happened?”

“Had to take you down somehow.” He says making a point not to mention Seth’s role.

“Where’s Rollins?”

“Well,” he begins. “Here’s the basics. We’re in a police station, you shot the guy the runs it so be nice. Mother and Father are outside and they fucked up Seth like they did with you and I- I knocked him out. Then you woke up.”

Balor just stares a moment then cracks a smile, shaking his head. “You two… This is why everyone avoided you guys.”

They enter the main room where Reigns is dragging Seth behind a desk off in a corner. Dean thanks him but his eyes are on Balor.

“He alright?”

“Yea.” Balor responds. “Sorry about, uh, shooting you. I wasn’t…”

“You guys have a lot of shit to explain after this.”

Dean wants to laugh. Where would he even start?

“So what’s the plan?” Balor asks him.

He sighs, tries to ignore the pain in his shoulder and arm. “Gotta lure them in. They’d pick us off to easy out there. I just- uh, I need them to hear me.”

“Easy enough.” Reigns walks across the room and pulls off some odd looking object from the wall.

“What’s that?”

Reigns gives him a curious look. “A megaphone. It’ll make your voice loud.”

Once shown how to use the thing Dean walks over to the door, already smirking to himself. It’s a shame Seth isn’t awake to hear him.

“Guess what? Still alive. Keep trying, you fucks!”

Reigns and Balor stare at him in disbelief before Balor bursts into laughter. “We’re going to die. This is great.”

He feels proud for all of a few seconds when the roar of an engine comes from outside. Dean barely makes it out of the way as a large armoured vehicle crashes into the station tearing through the wall. High beams blind them all then gas canisters hit the ground. At first Dean panics then he realizes it just fog, thick and all consuming like he’d dealt with in training. Mother and Father don’t want them to have an easy death. They want to hunt them down.

In no time at all the fog has covered every square inch, he can’t see a damn thing. His shoulder gives a painful throb, Reigns did as best he could with a quick patch job but Seth wasn’t second best for nothing. If they survived Dean would make sure to complain to him about it.

“Where is he?” Mother whispers in his ear. Cool metal of the knife against his throat making him involuntarily swallow. He hadn’t heard her approach, not a breath or step.

“Have to kill me first.” He says and the knife disappears. 

Her response is a deep slash across his back and a hard kick that sends him forward onto his face. It burns so badly he wants to just lay there hoping the pain might subside fully knowing it won’t. Dean forces himself onto his feet ready to go to Seth but there’s a crash followed by a voice that makes him instantly tense.

“What a waste.” Father says to Balor, his heavy footsteps crunching over the debris on the floor. “I thought you would be better.”

Dean can’t fully see Father through the fog but he can hear him. Steadies himself as best he can with the rifle listening intently to each footsteps and takes the shot. The angry growl from the older man brings a content smile to his face. The full force tackle he receives a second later wipes it right off. Father’s on top of him pressing the rifle to his neck, a savage grin on his face as Dean struggles to breathe. He tries to push him off but he’s too strong and Dean’s body wants to give in.

Then the pressure falls away Dean looks up to see Balor has jumped onto Father’s back, arm around his neck in a choke hold. The older man moves off of Dean and onto his feet while Balor valiantly holds on, his legs blocking the other’s access to the holstered guns at his sides. Father digs his fingers into Balor’s wound making him lose grip and gets thrown across the room. It’s enough time for Dean to pick up his rifle. He shot him once he can do it again.

Except Dean misses, his shoulder making his arm tremble. Father kicks the rifle from his hands and puts his boot on Dean’s chest slowly pushing down with firm bone crushing pressure. He reaches for the gun on his hip but Father only presses harder, laughing as he does. A gun goes off and Dean hears Father gives a pained grunt, stumbling backward off of him.

Father’s grin only grows wider, staring ahead. “There you are.” 

Dean cranes his neck up enough to see Seth standing a few feet away, gun pointing at Father. He looks scared but his stance is steady.

“Show me you were worth the effort.”

Dean can hear a scuffle in the distance and is amazed that Reigns seems to have kept Mother busy this long. Father reaches for his holster all while Seth hasn’t made a single move since his initial shot. He realizes Seth can’t do it or by the time he realizes he has to they’ll both be dead. Dean isn’t going to wait.

Thankfully Father isn’t paying attention to him anymore while he carefully reaches for his gun, too busy berating Seth. 

“You were always so weak.” He says with an air of disgust. “How could I produce something so useless?”

Seth’s arms go limp. “...what?”

They shoot at the same time. Father’s bullet tears into Seth’s bad knee making him cry out in agony. Dean wasn’t going to play this slow torturous game. He sends a bullet under Father’s chin right into his brain. Isn’t satisfied until Dean hears his body hit the ground. He pushes himself to sit up, glancing over at Seth who looks on in shock.

“I had to.” Dean says, trying to reassure Seth despite both of them knowing this would be a possible outcome. “I- You know-”

Quiet footsteps approach, Mother walks through the now dissipating fog gazing down at Father’s body, over to Seth then at him. Dean thinks he should shoot right then but he hesitates, maybe it’s all the years he had hoped so badly to join The Authority. Maybe it’s the lost look in Seth’s eyes as he stares up at Mother. 

She sighs. “There were much better ways of getting you both back but he wanted to make a show of it.”

Mother turns her attention to Seth. "The infirmary should be back to working order by the time we arrive."

"I don't- I don't want to..." Seth's voice sounds so broken and hurt. 

"You don't belong out here." 

"Then what was the point of my training?!" Seth snaps at her, hopelessness turning to rage.

"You're still perfectly viable for what's needed." She takes a step closer. 

"You fucked up my head! Shocks until I couldn't- Why didn't you tell me I was your son?"

"It wasn't important." She answers easily and Seth lets out a sharp laugh. 

Dean feels like shooting her on his behalf but Seth beats him to the punch, taking aim.

She seems unfazed. "I took care of you. Protected you. Your place is with me."

"You tortured me." His voice shaking at the admission. "And I still..."

She kneels down, gun now pointed square at her chest like she’s daring him to shoot. She reaches over and cups Seth’s cheek, whispering something he can’t hear. Every instinct tells Dean to put her down but he waits. Watches Seth’s hand begins to shake, the hopelessness in his eyes as he takes a quick gasp of air. 

Seth pulls the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All that's left is the epilogue. This has been fun, ya'll!


	6. Chapter 6

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

 

 

It’s strange. Waking up feeling warm with no sudden snap of bright lights or morning alarm telling Seth and everyone else to report to mess hall. Sunrise is easily his favorite time of day, the gradual transition of the sky from blue to a hazy orange mixed with violet as the sun ascends over the trees is amazing. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t noticed the sunrise when they were on the run but his mind was elsewhere then. He’s got his knee brace on and is about to grab his support crutch when he feels the bed shift.

“Where you going?” Dean mumbles rubbing at his eyes.

“See the sunrise.”

Dean sits up and stretches out wincing at his shoulder and catching the guilty look in Seth’s eyes. “Don’t. It’s too early for that.”

They sit out on the back porch together and it’s as beautiful as ever maybe a little more so with Dean leaning against him. Morning’s like this are so peaceful Seth can almost push away all the noise in his head. That if Mother and Father had their way he would’ve never gotten to see anything like this. It makes him angry but more than that it just hurts.

Every thought about them hurts.

Those were the bad days, when he woke up unable to muster the energy or desire to do anything but lie in bed. Everything he trained for, his whole identity, it meant nothing now. And the best part, the absolute worst thing, was that both rumors about him were true. Seth’s mind was manipulated and broken and it was all thanks to his own parents. Maybe he should’ve died with them. What purpose did he serve outside the Institute?

“I’m going with Roman today, so is Balor, meaning you are too.” Dean says kissing his temple.

Seth frowns. “Why do I have to?’

“You shouldn’t stay here by yourself.”

“I’m not a child.”

“No, but I don’t like thinking about you laying in bed all day. Without me, by the way.”

“You could stay with me.” Seth counters but Dean’s not having it.

“I have, plenty of times. It's your turn.”

He understands Dean pushing him to leave the house, their whole plan was to escape and venture out to this brand new world. He just didn’t expect it to be so overwhelming. Dean and Balor got caught off guard by new discoveries as well but they usually handled it easily enough while he felt only confused and tired. Today was no exception, the three of them walking through the small town while Reigns, Roman as Dean had begun using his first name, went to work at the temporary police station. It was a quiet town but Seth felt uneasy, like he didn’t belong.

“Look.” Balor eyes the general store’s window display.

“...Wow.” Dean stares, a smile forming on his face. “Been a long time.”

Seth looks at the display, a chaotic mess of black and orange, mannequins in strange clothing. None of it makes sense.

He reads the brightly colored banner strung across the display over and over. “What’s Halloween?”

The other two are quiet for a moment before Dean speaks up. “It’s uh… A night where little kids dress up in costumes, like that,” he points to the mannequins, “and adults give them candy.”

He stares at the costumes trying to understand Dean’s words but no connection forms. “Why?”

“Cause it’s Halloween.” He says like that’s supposed to make any more sense. “It’s a civilian thing. Just what everyone does.”

What normal people do. People who weren’t born in some compound and raised to be a killer. He can just picture it, Dean at ten years old happily eating candy while Seth’s being drilled on defense strategies. He uses those years of training to put on a good face, pretend this doesn’t make him feel frustrated. Counts the minutes before he decides to pull away from the others, claiming a need to rest his knee.

“I can stay with you.” Dean says but Seth shakes his head.

“Book store’s up ahead, find me something interesting.” He gives Dean a quick reassuring kiss and heads for the station.

He quietly slips into Reigns’ office, the older man had given the other policemen some story about the three of them being ex-military that seemed convincing enough that no one ever bothered them. He wondered what Reigns might’ve said about him as the others seemed more open to talking to Dean and Balor but no one’s ever once looked him in the eyes.

“Tired?” Reigns looks up from his desk.

He nods and stretches his legs out on the couch against the wall.

“If you want I can take you back home at lunch.”

Home. What a strange word.

“I’m ok. I… I’m ok.”

It’s surprising how accommodating Reigns has been these past two months. He could have let them flounder on their own but he was on top of it from the night at the station till now. Seth figures he had to have been someone important before he ended up in this tiny town as none of the doctors questioned them much during their hospital stay, even at their rehab appointments nothing is ever brought up. Then he let them stay at his house because, as the older man put it, they didn’t know how to take care of themselves and he didn’t want to deal with the chaos the three of them alone would cause. A mostly solid decision as during the first few weeks it required both he and Dean to break up fights between Seth and Balor. There were knife marks in the walls now but at the very least everyone was still alive.

“I don’t know if I made the right choice…” Seth says quietly, almost immediately regrets saying it out loud.

“About what?”

“Dean’s doing a lot better,” he tries to change the subject, “doesn’t get as many nightmares anymore.”

“Seth, about what?” Reigns repeats.

A beat passes, Reigns is about to go back to his paperwork when Seth continues.

“I could’ve gone with her. Maybe I should’ve.”

Dean and Balor had given him all the details on who Mother and Father were, along with who they were to Seth. He knows exactly when that little bit of information got out as Reigns took him aside that night, told him if he ever needed to say anything in complete confidence he was there and then proceeded to make Seth his first hot chocolate. The drink pretty much sealed the deal.

“You really think that would be a better option?”

“Thing’s might’ve been different. She wasn’t taking Balor, and Father… It’d be just me and her. She could’ve killed me easy but she still wanted me.”

“She used you. I saw what happened, what you turned into.”

“I know, but… she wasn’t all bad. I think she cared about me. She wanted me to be the best. They both did.” He sighs and runs a hand roughly through his hair. “Everything here is confusing. At least Dean and Balor have memories, I don’t. It’s too much, all the time.”

Reigns leans forward resting his elbows on his desk. “It’s only been two months, think about that. And a lot of it’s new to them too but the three of you put on these brave faces like it’s not affecting you when it clearly is.”

“Habit.” Seth shrugs. “You’re not going to get to the top by showing weakness.”

“Yea, well, there’s no competition between you guys anymore and I know that’s gonna take time, especially for you. It’s a lot but you’ll slowly bearings, I’m sure of that. ”

He tries to take in what Reigns is telling him but it’s so difficult.

“...I used to be the best. Consistent tops scores, nobody could touch me, not even Dean. Now I’m barely functional.” Seth covers his face with his wishing the darkness would swallow him up.

He wants Reigns to tell him what to do but there’s no real answer. The world is open to them now, they have to make their own decisions.

 

Dean sighs, scanning over the rows of books his eyes unfocused. “You think he’s ok?”

“Go to the station.” Balor says for maybe the fifth or sixth time.

“He’s probably sleeping.”

“Then stop worrying.”

Dean rolls his eyes like that’s at all possible. Everything was different now and while he had slowly started taking the first few baby steps into this new life Seth had fallen backwards off a cliff. It isn’t that he doesn’t have days where all he wants is to hide from everything but excitement generally outweighs the fear. The biggest issue is Mother and Father but again it’s different for both of them. Dean is left with nightmares while Seth is in mourning, it’s never going to be easy for them but they’ve come to accept that.

“Do you think Rollins knows about sex?” Balor asks breaking him from his thoughts.

He’s about to mouth off at him when Dean looks down and sees that Balor has six different books laid out, all on various subjects. “What’re you doing?”

“Research. So does he?”

“None of your business.”

“So he doesn’t. Maybe you should take him this one.” Balor points to the book in the top left corner. “It’s pretty informative.”

“I’m not- Don’t be a jackass.”

“One of these also mentions keeping secrets isn’t good for relationships, friendships or otherwise.”

“I’m not keeping sex a secret.” Dean says and Balor glances up with a more serious expression.

“Not talking about that.”

Dean considers throwing a book at him, takes a slow relaxing breath instead. Doesn’t really work. “I’m going to tell him. Soon.”

“It’s bothering you and he’s going to notice. If you don’t, I might.”

“Don't you fucking dare.” He growls through his teeth.

“Then tell him.”

Two weeks ago he and Roman went to find the Institute unbeknownst to either Seth or Balor. It had been on Dean’s mind since they left the hospital. Mother and Father were dead, what did that mean for their fellow recruits still there? Maybe they could get them out. That was the hope. What they found was a massive crater and a demolition crew hauling building fragments away. Roman tried to talk to one of the workers in charge and got nothing but more questions.

“Restricted access. Possible chemical spill while no one’s wearing hazmat suits and half of them are carrying guns. Let’s get you out of here.”

Dean was in a panic the whole drive back. “Somebody knows Mother and Father are dead so they destroyed the Institute? Why? They have to know we’re alive but they haven’t come for us… and the others, what-”

Roman had to pull over to calm him down, Dean couldn’t catch a breath. Someone had to know they were still out there, what were they waiting for? And more importantly who the hell were they?

“We need to arm the house.” He said once he had somewhat settled.

Roman shook his head. “We’re not.”

“Why not?!”

“We need to figure this out. Grabbing guns and screaming isn’t going to help.”

“Yea, cause when Seth finds out he’s going to be super calm.” He said then gets hit hard with a sense of worry. “Fuck. This… He doesn’t need this.”

“I agree, but he needs to know.”

“Fine.” He exhaled tiredly. “But let me be the one to tell him.”

Balor knew right off that something was eating at Dean, didn’t stop pestering him until he told him everything. Now he was nudging him to tell Seth and Dean knows that he should but he doesn’t want to add to the other’s misery. It’s been so damn long since Seth has even been mildly ok.

He spends the rest of the day trying to think of how he’s going to tell Seth, debating on whether he should postpone it another few days. Maybe there wasn’t anything to worry about and eventually they could live relatively normal lives. Except that Dean would always have this little cloud of anxiety above his head because if someone were to come for them why wouldn’t they take the soldiers who’d be under their complete control with a few words? When Seth heads to bed early Dean follows him, there’s no way to sugarcoat it he just has to tell him.

“Hey, uh, I need to talk to you about something.” Dean says sitting beside him. The sudden apprehension on Seth’s face doesn’t help at all.

“Just… try to-” Dean starts and stops. “Me and Roman went back to the Institute. I wanted to help the others but, uh- It’s gone.”

“...What?” Seth’s brows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean it’s gone?”

“Somebody blew it up. It’s- yea. Gone.”

Seth doesn’t speak, processing the idea of the Institute being destroyed. “Can we go there?”

“No, that’s the other thing. There’s a clean up crew there but they’re not like the ones at the station. They’re carrying guns, I think they’re expecting us to come back.”

He’s waiting for Seth to freak out but he isn’t. He’s got this look like he’s piecing things together, reminds Dean of the times they threw mental tests into courses. How quickly he’s forgotten that Seth has essentially been trained since birth to compartmentalize everything. Ready to make a plan of attack.

“Why haven’t they taken us? There’s no way they don’t know where we are.”

“I don’t know.” He says and Seth lets out a sad little laugh. “What?”

“Mother and Father were reporting to someone about us. We’re all one big fucking experiment. Guess I wasn’t completely alone in that.”

“What do you think happened to the others?”

“Dead if they’re lucky.”

“Lucky?” He stares, how could death be considered a good thing?

“I’m sure a lot of them would rather be dead than be like me or Balor. Just a couple words and you’re a mindless puppet. Maybe that’s what they’re waiting for, wait till you’re asleep and make me slit your throat.” He says so plainly, like it’s just a matter of time.

“What if it doesn’t work without Mother?” Dean questions. “At least for you.”

Seth considers his words, comes to quick decision. “One way to find out, I guess.”

“I don’t know how to bring you back. We had to knock you both out and I don’t want to hit you.”

“You could choke me out.” Seth suggests.

“I’m not choking you.”

Seth sighs at him. “It’s not a big deal.”

“I don’t want to.” He says, mostly because Dean isn’t sure if he can take seeing Seth blankly staring at him again.

“Then get Balor.”

“No.” He says firmly while Seth gives him an exasperated look. “I don’t want him to hurt you.”

“Well, I don’t want to hurt you or kill you. So if you have any better ideas tell me.”

A few minutes pass, neither of them coming up with anything other than doing the obvious.

“You know, I thought you’d be a lot more freaked out than this.”

“It’s easier to understand, I guess?” Seth explains. “People trying to kill us I can handle. Seeing a dog for the first time I lose my mind.”

“Dogs are pretty great.” Dean argues with a little shrug.

“We should convince Reigns to let us get one.” He says with the tiniest hint of a grin. “Anyway, you know the words?”

Dean nods, takes hold of Seth’s hands as though he’s trying to steady them both. He doesn’t want to do this but he has to, they need to know.

“Sierra. Hotel. India. Echo. Lima. ...Delta.” He looks into Seth’s eyes and waits for it.

And waits… but nothing happens. Nothing at all. Dean pulls him into a hug so tight his shoulder aches. Seth is smiling and looks so beautiful, Dean kisses him hard enough that he lands on top of him. They’re laughing for what feels like the first time in months. The relief pushes out all uncertainties because now no one can break them apart. Whoever might be watching it doesn’t matter. Together they’re unstoppable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A giant thank you to everyone who has read this and gave comments and kudos it's meant the world! This was so much fun to write and I'm a little sad to see it go but off to the next adventure, ya'll!


End file.
